Don’t Breathe (Movie Review)

After hearing all the great reviews that Don’t Breathe got, I decided to check it out for myself. Me and my friend went today to see it and of course I have a few thoughts on the movie. Here they are. (Massive Spoilers Ahead)

First off let me state that it wasn’t completely unwatchable. The suspense was good, the acting was good, effects were good. It was also, for the first time in a long while, an original concept. After that point, though, the movie nearly entirely falls apart with plot holes and WTF logic moments that will make your head spin.

To start, the basic summary of the movie is three friends are burglars. They decide they are going to break into some blind guy’s house because he allegedly has a ton of money in there. It should be super easy because he’s also blind. Oh and a war vet. Blinded in the Gulf War due to shrapnel from a grenade. Everything seems pretty easy because, how hard would it be to steal anything from a blind man? The problems with this start almost immediately.

The opening scene is them in some random ass house somewhere. They go in, wreck up the place, take things, and whatever. You quickly learn that one of the kids in the group has a dad who works for a security company. He also has keys to all the locks on these houses. This is how the kid apparently knows what houses to steal from and whatever. He has all the codes to the alarms and such so it’s easy to shut them off when they enter. Then after they steal crap one of the people from the crew named “Money” sells it on the street. The street guy gives him a cut of what he brings. Money isn’t happy with the cut he’s getting which is when he’s told about the blind guy’s house.

The find out that by coincidence the house is one of the houses with a security system by the one kid’s dad. To make things simple the kid is named Alex. The girl involved in all of this is Rocky (Roxanne) and it’s clear Alex has a huge boner for her but she’s fucking Money so, he’s all in the friendzone. Literally, Money at one point tells him to stay in the friendzone because he’s not going to get Rocky.

Now some how, for some reason, they assume that this injured war vet just keeps all this money in his house. He got a settlement a long time ago because some rich chick ran over his daughter and killed her. They think he has like 300grand in there somewhere. No idea why they’d just assume he had the money in the house and not in a bank but who cares? At first Alex doesn’t want to break in and steal it because it’s grand larceny if they get caught but Rocky begs him and he agrees. Then you see a short scene where Rocky is talking to her sister about running away to California and it’s obvious her mom and step dad are insanely drunk and abusive. I guess this was the attempt to make you have sympathy for her but it kind of falls flat. That and the scene where she says her mom used to lock her in a trunk of a car for hours cause she’d cry a lot.

All three of them head to this vet’s house at 2am and decide to break in. That’s when the plot breaks down even more. First of all, this guy has a really vicious Rottweiler that goes with him everywhere.  Which they knew cause when they were scoping out the house the dog barked at their car even though the blind guy didn’t question what the dog was barking at or trying to attack. Also he didn’t seem to notice this car driving away in a neighborhood where he has the ONLY house. All the other houses are abandoned/condemned. You’d think that he’d have questioned what a car was doing out there.  This takes place in Detroit so it’s not a long shot to believe there’s a lot of abandoned/ghost town areas.

Anyway so they drug the dog with some kind of treat that has a pill in it or something and the dog passes out. The dog, for some reason was chained up in the yard which didn’t make much sense because the yard was also fenced in. He takes the treat and passes out in his dog house. Then they hop the fence. Find out that basically none of the keys Alex has works. On the front door there were 4 locks which was why they had to go in the back. They try some kind of storm door entrance but it’s locked. The only solution is to let Rocky climb in through a window. Break the glass and use some kind of remote to shut off the alarm. Not sure why they never used that before, but they had it now.

In 30 seconds she manages to point the remote in the general direction of the security pad and gets it to shut off. Some how the blind guy doesn’t hear her smashing a window but manages to (later in the movie) hear every tiny little fucking sound that ever existed. Don’t ask me why. Rocky lets them all into the house and Money sneaks upstairs to “gas” the guy so he’ll be knocked out. He does this by having a water bottle which he pours something into. It makes a tiny little fizzy noise and the blind guy wakes up. Then all he does is turn off the TV which was playing home movies of his daughter. Money leaves the sleeping gas in there and gets out.

Then it’s revealed Money has a gun cause “if I’m going to rob a military guy I’m gonna have a piece, yo”. Alex is like “Fuck this” and leaves. He says something like “You brought a gun that gives this guy the right to shoot us” when technically just entering the house gave the army guy that right (which Alex should have known seeing as how his dad works for a security company). He walks out the door. Military guy randomly appears after Money shoots the lock on the door in the area they are trying to investigate. Oh, I should mention that despite them ALL thinking this blind dude would be knocked out they all took off their shoes and Alex for some reason left without putting his shoes back on for some reason.

Money yells at the military guy, threatens him, and says he’s the only one there to protect Rocky. Fails to shoot Military guy and gets attacked and shot himself. Rocky hides in a closet during all of this and Military guy goes to hiding the body instead of calling the cops. At this point, you know Military guy is also a shady fucker but not why. For some reason he decides to go check if his money is still there. Which happens to be in the same closet Rocky is in. He enters the code in plain view of her and then shuts the door allowing us as an audience to see the code as well. 2789 I believe it was.

Alex comes back because he hears the second gunshot and then realizes Military guy is awake. A bunch of shenanigans ensue where the two survivors move around carefully to avoid blind Military guy who now has Money’s gun and is not afraid to blindly shoot around the place. Alex tries to get Rocky to leave but she’s all “Woah no way idiot I know where the money is.” Some how blind guy doesn’t hear her getting into the safe which beeps loudly when she enters each number. Whatever. Then they have to get downstairs and more shenannigans ensue causing the blind guy to shoot around blindly. He leaves to drag the body of Money somewhere and Alex and Rocky go to the basement because they know there is a door to get out somewhere down there since blind Military guy has already sealed the other two possible exits. He did this after finding the two other sets of shoes there which led him to realize he wasn’t alone despite Money saying he was the only one there.

Alex and Rocky get to the exit after going through an unrealistically large basement for the size of that house. Of course right then some lights come on and there’s a girl there. She’s tied and gagged. Alex wants to get the fuck out but Rocky wants to save the girl. Turns out that some how this blind man kidnapped the girl who ran over his daughter (and didn’t get caught which makes SO much sense) and was holding her captive. Alex suggests they just GO and call the cops once they are outside but Rocky is like “No we have to save her”.

Of course this process leads blind guy to realize they have gone through the basement and are about to go out the back way so when they finally untie her (getting keys from a second safe with the SAME code as the other one as that also makes sense) they open the door ad Military guy is there. He just starts randomly shooting. Clips Alex in the ear and shoots the girl he had captive in the face so she dies. They run and hide again and the Military guy has a fit about the girl dying.

They run back out trying to get back upstairs and blind guy shuts off the lights leaving them in pitch black. A pretty cool scene happens with them trying to get through there. Right as Rocky is about to accidentally touch the blind man in the dark, Alex yells out to find her. Military man fires the gun. Rocky backs up.

Okay so a lot of shit like that happens. Everything a little too convenient. When blind man is about to shoot Alex, oh no, out of bullets. Then there is the dog which apparently woke up at some point even though it should have been knocked out for hours. Dog can’t catch any of these assholes in a small house. Hesitates for a stupid long time that no attack dog ever would. There is more running around and whatever the hell. Eventually the Military guy beats the crap out of Alex (after getting his other gun and losing it thanks to Alex) and leaves him to get Rocky. He ties her up, gives some speech about how she owes him a baby and tries to inseminate her via turkey baster because he’s totally not a rapist.

Right as he’s about to do that, Alex bashes him in the head with a hammer. Then they chain him up. Military guy is all like “yeah take my money” cause Alex says “he’s trying to buy our silence he won’t turn us in”. They go to leave and Military guy shoots Alex in the back or something. He gets the door open. Rocky runs. Keep in mind through the movie there is a bunch of debate about setting off the alarm via remote but Rocky keeps saying “no” so they don’t do it.

Rocky runs and some how this attack dog can’t catch her (that’s realistic). She gets to the car but NO KEYS! Also apparently in her very small bag she’s carrying a million in cash which would weigh about 22 pounds in real life and never fit in that bag. Through a bunch of stupid little traps that are not at all realistic and gave the dog several chances to bite her if this were real life, Rocky locks him in her car. She gets out and picks up the bag and Military man is right there. He chokes her out or something and drags her back. When she wakes up again she’s right by the door, uses the remote to set off the alarm. It’s loud, disorients the man, she beats the shit out of him with a crowbar and manages to escape right before cops get there.

Movie ends with Military guy still being alive and reports of “only two burglars” leaving Rocky to believe she’s safe and they show her running away with her little sister and allegedly all the cash she took with her. End.

Though the suspense was done right, and had some really cool effects and other scenery the movie was pretty much bullshit. Very predictable. After about 30 minutes it was obvious that blind guy was going to show up literally anywhere they thought they were safe and do some weird shit. He was also overly muscular and there was no work out equipment in his house. I get that he was like “super trained” or something but how long ago was the Gulf war? Was this guy keeping up his training ALL the time plus learning to adapt it to being blind? He seemed to be about 60 years old or some shit. Also, Rocky of all people was able to some what kick his ass and hurt him with a crowbar? Doesn’t seem very probable given he was a trained military asshole. Then of course you wonder why the man didn’t come downstairs already WITH the gun in the first place (they go out of their way to show he has one by his bed or under it). Or have more guns in his house, or why the kids didn’t just make a lot of noise or set off the alarm and turn it off. Set off the alarm and turn it off. Had Alex and Rocky left before helping the girl they’d have escaped before Military man would have gotten to the door to stop them.

All in all, none of the characters were overly likable. All of them were scum bags. Alex was the “best” of the three main characters but he still was trying to rob a blind man to win over Rocky. Rocky was I guess supposed to be sympathetic but she was so money hungry she basically got the two guys she liked killed so she could be rich. Blind guy turned out to be some weird fucker who was impregnating girls to “get his daughter back” and whatever the fuck. At a certain point I was pretty much hoping Rocky would die and not live. It was definitely entertaining even if it were predictable. It is one of the more original ideas I’ve seen as of late. And thank God it wasn’t a remake. Based on this alone I’ll give it 3 out of 5 stars. Glad I saw it but there’s basically no way I’d ever see it again. Not sure I’d really recommend it to anyone either.

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