I don’t even know where to start with this one. Mostly because the summary to the movie isn’t even accurate to what happened in the actual movie. I’m going to say that the summary being off made it better or worse because this movie was just weird and I don’t get it. Honestly, I thought it would be way more awful than it was. However, it was definitely an interesting way to kill 90 minutes. As usual, this will contain spoilers so don’t continue if you don’t want to be spoiled.
It’s found footage so that takes points off right there. I do not remember any character names either. Don’t ask. I’ll just call them guy and girl because they were main. Later on, there will be Guy 2 and Girl 2 but that’s about it. It starts with Guy filming everything because reasons. Including lots of sex with his exhibitionist girlfriend. She’s an artist or something but they are also poor? He might have a job or he just films shit I don’t know.
Then one day they are driving and they see some old abandoned asylum. Allegedly pregnant women went there when they wanted to have babies out of wedlock back in the day but obviously the place was shut down. Also, it was haunted because bad stuff happened there or abortions or something I don’t know. Oh and a lot of the women who had babies I guess were also insane. When an insane woman dies you know she’s going to haunt the shit out of something. Just look at Japanese horror.
So Girl decides she wants to sneak in there because it would be a really cool place to have a rave/art show. The cops see the two of them trying to get in and chase them but that just drives them deeper into the haunted hospital. They have sex like everywhere I guess and at one point find a dirty ass bed with restraints that Guy ties Girl onto. He leaves her there pretending he’s going to leave her there for the night but also leaves the camera. At that point, some ghost possesses her or something. Then he comes back and starts to fuck her on this dirty ass bed and she has a nosebleed so they have to stop.
They are leaving but their car is getting towed so they have to call Guy 2 and Girl 2. First Girl keeps complaining about how she’s sick and her nose is bleeding and wants to leave but when her friends show up she wants to go back in. Guy is all smart and telling them it’s not a good idea but they ignore him. He follows in with the camera because who else is going to film it? Girl fucks Guy 2 and starts going crazy. They are trapped in there somehow I don’t know. At the end, she ends up killing everyone. Then there is a clip of a woman from the 80’s being raped (the time stamp says 80s) then a weird clip of the same girl biting a man’s dick off and the movie ends.
No idea what the hell I watched. As lame as it sounds it’s actually got decent acting and some funny lines. I wouldn’t highly, highly recommend it but it was worth more than the 1 star it got on the site I watched it at. Maybe more like 3 stars and a decent way to kill time and get a good chuckled. For being as indie as it was, the effects and makeup were really good. Usually found footage just annoys me but honestly, it wasn’t SOOOO bad. I’d rather watch this again than that awful Train movie I reviewed last week.