Hostel 2 (Movie Review)

Hostel 2 was not a good movie. It wasn’t the worst thing ever but it pales in comparison to the first movie and I can tell it was really only made to make money. As much as people complain that the first one is “boring” and “nothing happens” it amazes me there was still enough buzz about it that people saw the second one. The third one was straight to DVD and somehow BETTER than the second one even if it also made less sense. As usual, this will not be a spoiler-free review so if you don’t want to be spoiled then just skip this. Or skip the actual movie. You won’t be missing much.

Hostel 2 is about three girls who are in college and studying abroad. There is the main girl named Beth who is like “super rich” or something. Her friend, Whitney, at some point, explains that her mom was rich or something and that she could “buy a small country” if she wanted. It’s not explained any further than that. So I’m guessing trust fund baby? There is another girl named Lorna who is clearly a loser but they go out of their way to be nice to her because they feel sorry for her and invite her on a trip which, of course, leads them to Slovakia like in the first movie. There is a girl on the train there that tells them about some natural hot springs and they decide to go there instead of wherever they were going to go but I can’t remember where that was.

Of course, this girl works for that weird cartel that sells tourists and shit so you can torture and kill them. On the side, there is a plot with two guys. One named Stuart and one named Todd. There is this “club” they are in where everyone had to get a tattoo of a hound dog because I mean what better way to keep a black market, secret killing organization hidden than making all the members get tattoos. The “club” has gone from being held in a small, defunct warehouse to some sort of huge corporate place. There’s even a country club/resort area where all the idiots stay. It’s implied that Stuart is really poor and Todd is the one who paid for him to get one of the girls and the chance to kill. As you’d expect, one of the girls is the main girl, Beth.

So while these girls are all over at some local festival and having fun, the men of this elite club watch the girls from their resort and jack off or something. Then there’s a moment that Stuart runs into Beth and it’s all “eerie” because you know he totally bought her in order to kill her later. At the same party, Lorna gets drunk because Whitney gives her alcohol (despite her saying she doesn’t drink) and lies to her and says it’s not alcohol (and I guess Lorna is such a moron she can’t tell or whatever). She flirts with this guy who kidnaps her and takes her to the torture factory where some woman kills her and bathes in her blood, Elizabeth Bathory style.

They spend some time looking for Lorna but kind of give up and go to a spa with the rest of the tourists from their class or just other young kids from various other countries. Where they all I guess, get drugged at the same time? Then they are all kidnapped. No seriously it seems like they som how drugged 50 people all at the same time, except Beth, and took them. Then the Russian girl (or whatever she is) who brought them all there takes care of Beth but ends up tricking her and getting her to the torture factory anyway.

After that, it shows Whitney getting done up by a makeup artist because they have that for some reason now. She tries to escape but the warehouse is all decked out in high-tech security shit and she gets caught and thrown in a room where she meets Todd. He starts to torture her but then maims her with a saw and decides he can’t go through with it. It’s revealed after that, that there is some stupid rule that if you don’t completely kill your victim you…are killed as well? He tries to leave and is eaten by the guard dogs. There are scenes showing what the other men are doing to the other captives. One guy is eating a captive alive, Hannibal Lecter style.

Then Beth wakes up in a room and Stuart is there. She tries to talk him out of hurting her but he seems pretty intent on it. She turns the tables on him and manages to get him tied in to the chair. The guards and owner of this death club come in, she negotiates with them to buy herself a membership because remember, she’s a super rich trust fund girl and Stuart is poor. She’s able to buy her freedom but she has to kill in order for them to let her go. She cuts off his dick and feeds it to one of the dogs and lets him bleed to death. This literally seems to be spurred on by the fact that he calls her a cunt and she hates that word. Yes, I’m rolling my eyes too.

After that, there is a cut scene of her getting the bloodhound tramp stamp tattoo and then hunting down the Russian girl who tricked her and cutting her head off. A bunch of 10-year-olds see this and start playing soccer with her head.  

This movie is all torture porn I mean pure gratuitous torture porn and nudity. Far MORE so than the other movie which had decent plot, character development, and made you actually like the lead character instead of getting annoyed as shit with them. I saw the movie I think twice. Once by myself and the other time with my sister who wanted to see it. It’s not awful but I’m not really going to recommend it to anyone. Not as much as I would the first film. Other than the fact that it’s full of annoying cliches, it’s above and beyond stupid for anyone to believe that there could be some massive organization like this and no one would find it and shut it down. They even sell the victims online eBay-style and have an entire montage scene about that. It comes to a point where you can’t even suspend your disbelief any longer, which makes it very hard to pay attention. If I had to give it a star rating it would get two out of five. This would be considered an unpopular opinion as idiots seem to think MORE GORE & MURDER = BETTER MOVIE when in reality, the first Hostel is what everyone should be raving about.



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