It Follows (Movie Review)

54f8d648c76cbWhat the hell was this movie even? Was I supposed to be scared by it? I just…I don’t get it like at all. It seems like it had some kind of good idea behind it but they ran out of time and couldn’t film everything. Either that or they filmed everything and just had a very shitty editor and that’s why the movie made no sense. As usual, this will not be a spoiler-free review so don’t read on from here if you don’t want to know more about this movie.

The opening scene is basically a girl in her underwear looking distraught and walking backward through the streets. People don’t really notice this even though is really fucking strange and no one bothers to try to actually help her. Eventually, she gets into her car, drives to the beach and texts people that she’s sorry. The next shot is her on the beach dead with a leg broken at a very odd angle.

Then it moves on to the main group of people. Annie is the main character. She has her sister, I think, and a bunch of really hipster friends. Also, adults don’t really seem to be in this movie at all. Other than in the one scene where they are at school. Even then, they aren’t featured. There is like no parental supervision. Which is either okay or not okay given that I can’t tell if these kids are still in high school or supposed to be in college? Alright, so Annie goes on a date with this guy. They play this weird game at the movies but the guy she’s with is really paranoid and keeps asking her if she can “see” people. Which she doesn’t think is too weird so she ends up going to have sex with him in his car in an abandoned lot.

After that, she wakes up and he has her tied to a wheelchair in her underwear and explains to her that she’s nscreen-shot-2016-11-23-at-12-36-34-amow cursed, or something. That he passed a thing on to her and it wil come after her at some point. It may look like someone she knows, or not. It will kill her. That she has to pass it along or something or she’ll die. Whatever. Then he just straight up leaves. She freaks out about this and then starts to see very slowly moving evil creepy people coming after her, that her other lame hipster ass friends can’t see. Her one friend has a kindle or some kind of eReader device that’s on a shell shaped compact mirror thing. Which is high tech but then they don’t seem to have anything better than black and white analog TVs and there’s no fucking indication of what goddamn year or time or universe this is supposed to take place in.

Eventually, she explains all of this to her friends. They try to help her fight this ghost (who 99% of the time appears in the form of naked or half naked old people) but they can’t see it, only she can. It can interact with them, though. At one point it lifts her friend up by her hair and she shoots it, which stops it for like a minute so they can all get away. None of screen-shot-2016-11-23-at-12-36-57-amthem ever thinking to maybe get on a plane or drive more than within a 5-mile radius away from where they last see it. Several times, Annie is completely alone, running away from her friends when she gets scared, but the thing still never manages to get her. Yet, when it’s approaching and it never, ever runs, it’s the fastest fucking thing on the planet.

Their huge plan is to “kill it” even though they already have seen it can’t be killed, by electrocuting it in a swimming pool. This is after some strange scene where it seems Annie is going to pass this curse on to three random guys on a boat but then…doesn’t? They never explain that either. She also has sex with her lame loser ass friend who she doesn’t really like but he’s been crushing on her forever. He’s gonna “Take one for the team”. This only happens after she has sex with a guy who she DOES like and he gets killed by the thing and they all get desperate. So they go to some defunct swimming pool with a bunch of electric items. Plug them in. Then Annie gets in the pool for like 5 hours waiting for the thing to show up. When it does, the plan, I guess was to shove all the electric stuff in the pool with Annie still in it? Which doesn’t work but even if it HAD, well it would have killed Annie.

screen-shot-2016-11-23-at-12-38-25-amOne of her friends gets shot in all of the confusion but then the thing “goes away” kinda. At the end you see Annie and the skinny dude she passed the curse to, walking together and something behind them not knowing if it’s a real person or the monster.

The movie did suspense pretty well, and there was always an air of “unease”. Especially since it was really hard to tell what was the monster and what was an actual person. The characters were weird and out of place, though. None of them were relatable or likable, and most of them seemed like they were pumped full of sedatives for the entire performance. Not one of them showed any sort of common sense, like, “LET’S GO HAVE SE WITH A HOOKER SURELY THAT WILL SAVE US”. This thing goes from person to person so like if you pass it on to one person, the person he has sex with next gets it, and so on and so fourth. If you had sex with a hooker, you’d have about 80 million people before the thing would get to you but no one thought of that? Also, it can only walk so why not get on a plane or go to an island or well, do ANYTHING OTHER THAN DRIVE A BLOCK AWAY FROM WHERE YOU LIVE?

Great concept, I suppose, but poor execution. A lot of people think this is like “The best movie ever” but it’s so full of nonsensical plot holes and WTF the moments that just don’t make sense that I found myself falling out of it before I could even get into it. If you want to see a movie purely on the fact that it can make you feel a bit paranoid, uneasy, and it’s good with suspense then this is the movie for you. However, if you also need the plot to make sense in order to feel this uneasy then you might want to skip this one, otherwise, you’ll just end up hurting your brain.

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One comment

  1. That’s a great observation: “If you had sex with a hooker, you’d have about 80 million people before the thing would get to you but no one thought of that?”

    There is a scene when Paul drives by a couple of hookers, but nothing happens.

    btw; Annie is the girl in the opening scene, but after that Jay is the female protagonist.

    I wrote a short essay (550 words) on It Follows called “The Dangers of Casual Sex.” If you would like to read it, I am open to any feedback: https://christopherjohnlindsay.wordpress.com/2017/01/01/it-follows-2014/

    Like

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