Tell Me How I Die (Review)

I watched this movie the other night. It’s not horrible but I do have a lot of problems with it. Basically, the movie is about a group of college kids who want easy money so they go to a research test facility to do a study of a drug. Sell your body to science type thing. They will be testing what they have been told is a memory drug. That’s the basic set-up of the movie. I will be explaining it in fell detail here and what problems I had with it so if you don’t want to be spoiled, stop reading now.

The main characters are Anna, Den, Scratch, some douche who’s name I already forgot so I’ll just call him D-bag, Britney, and Dr. Dickhead. It seems that one night they all meet at a bar but also kinda maybe know each other because they go to the same school? Scratch tells them that he knows of this drug testing place and you spend a weekend there or whatever and get paid a ton of money to test out drugs. They think it sounds great and all head up there. They are given a brief introduction to the rules and whatnot and shown to the area they will be staying in. Then they are lined up and given an tell-me-how-i-die-review-3injection. Some of them are given a placebo and some are given the real drug. Anna asks a bunch of questions about it before the injection but declines to leave anyway and they inject her.

Soon enough, they start having visions of the future. Minor things. D-Bag is the first then Britney is the second. It’s not too important what D-Bag saw but I’m kind of annoyed how things turned out with Britney. She sees herself going into a bathroom because she feels sick then turning around and pushing on a stall door and Anna is in the stall. Then she flashes back to present time and repeats the same actions. SAME. EXACT. ACTIONS. This is somewhat understandable, I’ll give them that, being that because it was the first time it happened she’d probably want to see if her vision was correct. Still, if I personally had that same vision I might have checked under the stall first or knocked on it to see if it was right or not. If it’s not right, oh well, who cares. If it is right, well, then there’s an easy way to find out because if you knock or look under the stall, you’d see someone was in there right? Or hear them. Or she could have just waited 5 fucking minutes to see if Anna finished and flushed the toilet. Trust me, it will become apparent soon why this annoyed me.

No one else in the group seems to be having any visions. That is until Anna is in the bathroom and she has a vision of the girls’ dorm being locked (or one of them) and the girls are in there dying of some type of gas poisoning. She flashes back to the present and runs to the dorm that she saw but everything is normal. There is also a number in her vision that isn’t on the door. 5260. Which for whatever reason she doesn’t tell anyone right away or write down (which I personally would have). She starts freaking out and tries to leave but the nurse/orderly guy sedates her and she is taken to a room with Dr. Dickbag. He tells her everything is about to get a lot worse for her and leaves her restrained to the stretcher and leaves.

sxf2mk2D-Bag realizes his new potential of seeing the future and wants to leave to gamble while the drug is still in his system and he can see the future. Britney wants to leave too. As they are trying to sneak out, Den catches up with them. They make it to a back room of the facility and see through the two-way glass into their dorm area and realize they were under observation. Not sure why this surprised them, seeing as how Anna already showed them it was a two-way mirror, and also how Curtis knew to come get the people when they had visions but whatever. Anyway they see Curtis stumble out and his throat is slit and he dies. Now they know there’s a murderer in there and they all run out of there into the blizzard outside.

When they get outside, Scratch stumbles out of there after them. They are suspicious of him at first being the killer and he just says that he saw them running around and followed. Spoiler alert: He is not at all the killer or suspicious in any way. Don’t worry about him. He was actually my favorite character. They get to a car and find the keys but Den won’t drive because he has a boner for Anna and wants to go back and get her. This is weird cause he’s known her for about 5 minutes. D-Bag suggests they just call the cops after driving back to town but Den insists on going back inside. He won’t leave the keys with the other three so he’s an asshole. Since it’s cold, they all have to head back inside tell-me-how-i-die-2016-ryan-higaanyway.

Anna has some more visions and gets out of the bed after struggling a bit. She sees Den, Britney, and D-Bag and how all of them die. She also sees a few more things that are seemingly random. Eventually, they all meet up with Anna and she’s trying to use her visions to help them. Now, there’s a part in the movie where Dr. Dickhead tells them that they shouldn’t tell anyone what they are experiencing because it can influence other patients into thinking they are experiencing it. Self-fulfilling prophecy type stuff. This is important to remember but also very stupid, or it makes the characters stupid? Or the characters just are stupid. Something like that.

Britney is killed somehow, I don’t remember how exactly. She falls down some shoot and is trapped in barbed wire. She’s gone. The only ones left are D-Bag, Den, and Anna. They find some video files on Dr. Dickhead’s computer. It shows a guy named Pascal and he was one of the very first test subjects of the drug. The drug made him psychic so they just kept giving him a ton of it. However, eventually, he just started to see all the events of everything in his life at once and then got violent and started to kill people. In the video he says five to go and looks up, he says Den’s name. They find out the video was recorded months before that.

Turns out the 5260 actually stands for 5/2/Go (the 6 is a G), They figure out that the 5 means all of them, or meant all of them, cause Britney would have been 5 but she was dead. At this point, Scratch is outside in a garage or something. He finds a snowmobile but it’s out of gas and he calls the group inside. He stays out there for a while trying to figure out what to do. He ends up injecting himself with some of the drugs he found somehow so he could try to see the future and avoid this killer guy, Pascal.

This is where it starts to get irritating. Scratch starts to have visions of the future as he’s walking to the car to siphon gas. He has a vision he gets in the car to warm up but the killer in the backseat. Then, right after that, he has a vision he goes back to the garagetellmehowidiebannerand the killer is there too. Which, of course, makes no sense cause there is only one killer. Instead of going to the car he goes back to the garage but tries to get there slowly to see if anyone is there. The killer is there, he runs, goes to the car, but the killer comes in through the back (somehow, totally not even explained) and stabs him. Here’s my issue with this.

Scratch could see both options, he didn’t know which one was correct, so what he should have done was not do either thing and get back in the building or try to go somewhere else. I mean to be fair, both things could have been wrong (and probably would have been given that apparently Pascal is a super human asshole violent psychic) but still, he didn’t know anything about that so he should have just not done either thing and tried to go back into the building a different way.

Anna, Den, and D-bag find that Dr. Dickhead is hiding in some kind of containment room or safe room. He refuses to let the others in. He tells them about Pascal and that he had way too much of the drug and he’s basically completely psychic now and for some reason completely violent and insane. He mentions the second doctor on the team killed himself. They show him a drawing/note that Pascal left for Dr. Dickhead that says “Kill yourself or I kill them all”. The doctor refuses to help them and is like “Ha ha I’m in the saferoom so this isn’t my problem, but he’s gonna kill all of you assholes.”

Anna, Den, and D-Bag get in a fight and D-Bag accidentally gets stabbed. He ends up dying exactly the way Anna said. Den tries to get Anna to leave. He takes her to the roof and I dunno I guess he’s in love with her even though he only ever talked to her for like five minutes. They kiss and he convinces her to jump from the roof into a snow drift and tells her she’ll survive and he’ll jump with her. He doesn’t, he goes back in to try to kill Pascal. Anna is able to get to the car now, with the keys, cause they are in Den’s jacket and he gave them to her but then she figures out she was wrong about how Britney died and for some stupid reason goes back into the facility instead of driving into town because I guess now she’s suddenly in love with Den after he kissed her. To be fair, he was pretty hot.

74676536Now Den is in the facility and he walks into a room with a pool. Anna had said he would drown. Instead of RUNNING OUT OF THERE he decides to fight the killer because ‘reasons’ even though he also knows this killer is psychic and knows his every move. Meanwhile, Anna injects herself with a shit ton of the drug so she can be psychic, however since Pascal is already way more psychic than her (and better at using the ability) he sees in his psychic head that Anna did this. He changes his methods to make sure Den is still killed but stabs him before shoving him into the pool.

Dr. Dickhead dies in an explosion due to a guy coming to see him (an angry investor in the drug) and a gas leak which his cigar triggers. They both die. Pascal gets away and Anna drags Den out to the front of the facility, no mention or indication she still has psychic powers, and the movie ends (obvious set up for a sequel is obvious).

The acting was decent, not brilliant but the movie wasn’t painfully unwatchable from that aspect. The effects and cinematography were good. The music was good. The plot had promise but the lack of the characters doing anything other than what their visions told them (when they had free will) was annoying. They tried to bullshit away this behavior by using that whole placebo and self-fulfilling prophecy thing I explained earlier but it didn’t fly with me. Not to mention the Den being so madly in love with Anna (a stranger to him) he goes back into the building to get her when if he had left it would have prevented his death and the death of 3 others…well I guess there wouldn’t be a movie otherwise?

All in all, I wouldn’t say it’s a huge waste of time. It’s good for what it is and relatively entertaining. I probably would not watch a sequel because Pascal is WAY too supernaturally gifted to ever be beaten and that just makes it boring, as there’s NO chance for weakness but…meh, I’d somewhat recommend this one. It’s at least interesting and an attempt at a new concept.

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