Jigsaw (2017) Trailer Thoughts (Yuck)

Alright, let me preface by saying that maybe I was already a bit biased because I knew my favorite character would not be returning. Now, I could go into immense detail on why and how Hoffman is totally still alive, including Costas Mandylor (who played Hoffman) personally stating to me and several others that Hoffman is still alive, but that would be boring. I already wrote a massive piece on why the canon of Saw VII negates the canon of the rest of the franchise (especially Saw VI) so if you are interested you can read that here.

Moving right along to the trailer, this is what I think about it. It looks…awful. I’m not being a hater just to be a hater either. Keep in mind that for the other original 6 movies (yes I completely do not pay attention to or even acknowledge the seventh because that was a pile of bullshit 8 miles long) I have seen them multiple times. I have seen Saw VI so much I basically have the entire thing memorized. I don’t know why, but it’s one of those movies I put on anytime I feel sad and for some reason, it distracts me and I just feel better after watching it.

I loved the original 6 movies. I loved that franchise. There was no one more than me who wanted Saw to come back and fix what Saw VII did but, considering this trailer? There’s no way in hell that’s going to fucking happen which irritates the shit out of me. First of all…here’s my very main issue with the trailer.

It’s way too clean. I don’t even just mean HD. I mean literally, all the settings of all the games are too fucking sterile. It’s like they are in a hospital room. The equipment is all clean and basically brand new. What’s even scary or suspenseful about that? Because let’s look at something like the first movie. The bathroom where it mainly takes place. Dirty, gritty, industrial. All of that. It’s like it’s shot in some room that someone shit all over and then rubbed down with AIDS and the blood of dead hookers. The setting is gross, the games are demonic. Everything is just uncomfortable, and nasty, it looks so dirty you can almost smell how bad it smells. That’s part of the appeal of these movies and it carried on through all of the original six films. Though it got slightly better, camera quality wise, they always kept the same dirty settings. They always kept the same kind of gritty camera and film work. It felt like you might be watching some kind of snuff film. That was the thrill of those movies.

When you see someone in a fucking clean room with pristine blades and sterile needles and shiny steel, well that just seems stupid. The whole point of Jigsaw was that he had been a working man an engineer and he built all of his traps covertly in some secret warehouse. By hand. With parts left over. He was some kind of devilish inventor who created contraptions straight from hell and right into your nightmares.

Now, in this trailer, it seems like everything is brand fucking new. According to the general summary of the trailer, this is not a prequel, it’s 10 years after the last killings, which I assume are the events of Saw 7 which, as I said, I ignore was ever made and I’ve seen a total of 3 times. There are only one of two ways this could go. A copycat (or copycats) or they totally full on Jason Vorhees with Jigsaw and made him into some super immortal being that can clone himself and never die. If we keep in step with the franchise and what it set up (even ignoring the last alleged Saw movie) there were always apprentices. Mark Hoffman was a copycat before he was an apprentice and he was the last known and COMPLETELY ALIVE apprentice and I will fight you if you try to tell me some bullshit like he’s dead.

Except, who would be doing this now? And Why? There are no actors from previous movies currently listed other than Tobin Bell (Jigsaw) but we all knew that, to begin with anyway because of the super short trailer we got earlier this year. Also, the original release date was September 18th, not October 27th. They pushed it back. I know that’s not abnormal but still, it worries me.

Not to mention the dude near the end of the trailer making some stupid ass joke. Which in all the other fucking trailers, no one is doing. Even in the overly comical and completely unbelievable Saw VII trailer where there are stupid comedy moments, did they not include a comedy scene or line in the trailer. Everything was intense. What is the draw of this? Is this a parody movie? Will it end up being a dark humor/horror? Is Jigsaw now it’s own thing? A new franchise? Is this a painful attempt to reboot something that pretty much should be dead since they refuse to do it correctly?

As I said, I might be biased because I already know Hoffman isn’t in it and he’s really the only one I give half a rat’s ass about. I want to know what happened to his character. Alive or dead, I want a conclusion. We aren’t going to get one. That is unless Costas is totally lying about being in it. Which can happen. It didn’t get leaked that Carey Elwes was going to be in Saw VII until the movie nearly came out. Maybe he is in it. I don’t know but I won’t hold my breath. In any case, the mood, feel, film style, editing, and acting seems WAY too off to be a REAL Saw movie to me and though I’m sure I’ll see it, I have no hopes it’s going to be anything near as good as the original franchise. If that makes me a hater, fine, I’m cool with that, but I guess I’m also sick of crappy reboots and ill thought out plots of movies that HAD a good start and ended like shit.


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